If you read my first blog post, you may know that this site began as part of a project I’m working on in my final semester of college (where did the last four years go?). Which has led me to the scary realization that impending adulthood is coming sooner rather than later.
I ran to the mailbox today to pick up a package I had been eagerly awaiting (I just got a new BAGGU from their spring collection!), but my excitement for opening my beloved package was instantly ruined when I saw a letter from my school reminding me to order my cap and gown…. Part of me is fully aware that I’m in the final semester of my college experience, but part of me is so caught up in my endless to-do list I honestly hadn’t really taken the time to process all the “lasts” coming my way.
My “last” college class, my “last” time hanging out with my college friends after class, my “last” time being a student. There is so much finality surrounding this period of life and it kind of feels like a permanent case of the Sunday scaries. You know what I mean right? That intense feeling of impending doom and dread you feel every Sunday evening as the sun sets and you prepare yourself to face another week? Well, that’s what this moment feels like for me, only instead of preparing myself to face another week I’m preparing myself to face the rest of my life.
Being forced to think of graduation led me to reminiscing on my freshman year of college and all the ways I’ve changed in the last four years. I’ve cut my hair, grown it out, dyed it, tried bangs, changed my style, made new friends, lost some friends, tried new hobbies, and overcome fears. I’ve done and accomplished so many things 18-year-old me could have only dreamed of… because the thought of graduating high school and starting college felt a lot like the impending doom I felt today… but I did it. I’m here. I’m graduating college.
In fact, my freshman year of college at age 18, I eagerly listened alongside my fellow swifties to Taylor Swift’s new song “Nothing New” for the first time. “How can a person know everything at 18, but nothing at 22”. Well… as I approach my 22nd birthday, and the end of my college career, Taylor could not have been anymore right. Life is all about thinking you’ve got it all figured out just to be kicked in the knee and reminded that you actually know nothing at all, and that’s okay, because you will always figure it out.
Although I have lots of “lasts” headed my way I’ve got so many “firsts” too. My “first” big girl job interview, my “first” day of work, my “first” paycheck… my first time experiencing adulthood.
Growing up can be really scary, but it can also be so much fun. You’ve made it this far and I’m confident you’ll still go so, so, so much further. Embrace change, let the nerves motivate you
