Every girl has considered the bob at some point or another. We see photos on Pinterest of girls with chic cool-girl short hair and we start to wonder if we could maybe pull it off too. Well, if you haven’t noticed yet… there is a bit of a bob epidemic spreading, and I fell victim to it. You can be the judge of whether or not I pull it off.
I’ve had long hair for years. The kind of long hair that leaves everyone staring at you in shock and horror at the mention of cutting it. “Oh my gosh no!!! If I had your hair, I would never cut it, pleaseeeee don’t cut it!” is something I’ve heard quite a bit the last few months. So, the people pleaser in me resisted the urge to cut my hair.
Well, I’d at least convinced myself that it was the people pleaser in me resisting the urge… but truthfully, contemplating the big chop forced me to realize how much of my identity was wrapped up in my hair. I know that might seem silly, but for years I felt like my hair was my best feature, and everyone around me validated that feeling. Someone was almost always gushing about how beautiful my hair was, and who doesn’t love a compliment? So, I began to wonder if cutting my hair meant cutting off the only feature anyone ever seemed to notice about me… strange, I know.
It’s funny really how easily we tie our identity to the thing that people associate us with. It’s almost like we can’t help but give ourselves a label… “Mandi, the girl with the really long pretty hair”. Of course, this could all very well be in my head, but I was genuinely uncomfortable with the idea that my hair could make or break me… so I cut it. A lot of it, all in attempt to prove to myself that I really didn’t care what anyone thought and my identity was ABSOLUTELY NOT tied to my hair (spoiler: my identity was definitely tied to my hair).
In the weeks following the big chop I felt a range of emotions. At first, pure bliss at my decision. Then a little bit of regret for how impulsively I did this weeks before my graduation. Then back to bliss because I felt so chic and cool. Then back to utter regret, followed by lots of tears and one of the worst crashouts known to man. I will not sugarcoat this for you, I felt ugly… really really ugly. Weirdly enough, everyone who begged me not to cut my hair couldn’t stop raving about how perfect this haircut was on me.
All hope is not lost though, the bob has grown on me. In fact, as cheesy as it sounds, it kind of feels like the perfect time to embrace change in other areas of my life. I’ve even opted to wear my natural waves, all a poofy mess out in public… something I never used to do when my hair was long.
So maybe for you it’s not your hair, but I can’t imagine a better time to reflect on that something really silly you’ve accidentally tied your identity to. Perhaps its your grades, or even a material object… and ask yourself if that thing really makes or breaks you, because chances are it doesn’t.
Your character, the way you treat others, the love and joy you spread… those are the things worth identifying yourself with, let go of the rest.
